ONLINE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
DUE SUNDAY, APRIL 18, 2010
@ 10:00 PM EDT
You have been happily dating/married to the love of your life for several years. Suddenly you discover your sweetie has been hiding a stack of letters from you. He/she is very secretive about the letters, won't tell you who the letters are from, and refuses to throw them away. What would you do?
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I dont know what i would do. I hate sneaky people and people who lie to me that i have devoted my time and love to. I would want to know and find a way to find who they are from and demand for him to tell me. If they were letter from a past woman in his life i would be very upset and feel that he is very attached to that person still or still has hope one day they will be back in his life. I, who has a baby daddy and loved him dearly and left me heart broken,and therefore my tolernce with being sneaky is very little. I feel when you love someone there should never be any secrets.
ReplyDeleteOh that's easy. When they are not paying attention, or when he is off to work, I would simply read it then put it back. When the time is right, I will bring it up. I would find out who wrote it and decipher what the letter is implying. If I sense that the feelings are still there, then he would have to go. I don't want to stand in the way of everlasting love.
ReplyDeleteAndrea H.
ReplyDeleteIf we are happy and I never felt a need to be suspicious, I would just mind my damn business and leave him to his secret letters. Ive learned not to allow unneccessary drama to interfere with my happiness.
If I found out that my husband was hiding love letters from me he would have to give me an explanation as to why it's being kept a secret and why he did not dispose of them which could mean that the person who wrote them means a lot to him.I would be very upset but I would forgive him eventually because you could'nt just get up and divorce your husband because of some secret letters but i would then be more observant and if it continues I would just give him back a dose of his own medicine.
ReplyDeleteKeisha-Ann C
ReplyDeleteIf I found that my husband had a stash of love letters that he has been secretly hiding for me, I would probably blow up like a tornado. I figure if he had to hold on to those letters from somebody in his past that only means that he hasn't let go of that person in his heart.I believe that a relationship should be open, therefore if he cannot share those letters with me or willingly dispose of them , then our relationship might be no more. I think that secrets can put a scar on any relationship, no matter how small you think that secret is. Because if you dont come clean it would be hard for your partner to trust you even after the truth is out
I really don't know what would be my reaction in this case. However, I am sure that my deception would be very big, because I have always trusted my wife since I started dating her. The discovery of secrets letters, kept secretively by my wife, would add cold water to our love. And I don't think that it would be necessary to ask her to throw them away, because this action will not solve the problem which is deeper than that. So, I would realize that I am not the beloved man that I thank I was, and I would begin preparing myself for the worst scenarios I could imagine.
ReplyDeleteI would Break up with them, because I am nosey, and I would go crazy wondering what they said!
ReplyDeleteKevin K
Before I jumped to any conclusions, I would real all the letters to see if they have been seeing each other, or planning to get together. If I asked her and she didn't tell me who he was, then I'll have to send her on her way. Don't believe in cheating and having secrets so there will be no making up.
ReplyDeleteI would be highly upset at her. I would just ask her over bearing questions about the letters, wondering whether or not shes cheating on me. If the letters was from her past, I would ask why is she keeping ties to the person before me. It would definitely change the relationship because obviously I'm not the only one she is thinking of.
ReplyDeleteI would ask my other half the story behind the letters. If he refused to tell me I would leave him. You don't hide things from the person you love. If you are hiding things then you don't truly love them. You should be able to give your soul mate all of you and they should accept you flaws and all and vice versa. If that is not the case and they can't be honest with you, then they may not feel the same way about you as you do about them. And your relationship may not be as strong as you think it is. You have to have trust in a relationship and how can you trust someone if they are not honest with you.
ReplyDeleteWell if the man i was with was hiding these letters i would first demand to see them. Then i would have him explain to me why they are so important to him and why i can't see them. Lastly i would find some way to read the letters with out him knowing and take it from there.
ReplyDeleteIf I found out my husband was hiding letters from me, I would be very hurt by his secrecy. I understand that we have all had past relationships but the fact that I'm his wife should mean I get to know about these things if I choose. If he still insisted on hiding the letters from me, he better find a river like the husband in "Her Letters" because his life would not be worth living after that!!!
ReplyDeleteAaron B
ReplyDeleteI would leave her with only two options, either she chooses the letters or me.
Wow, all the responses seemed really negative. For me, it would probably be a different story. When i was in Iraq, i was scared, thoughts that i would never see my friends of family. I became a different person then who i was. I had seen things that people should never see in their lives. The only thing that saved my humanity was letters i recieved from a loved one back in the states. The letters gave me something to look forward to, something to treasure, it was those letters that saved me from my surroundings. I still have those letters today and would never throw them away. Sure, if i was to have a girlfriend or even get married i understand how it would probably create a problem, but i don't keep them because of the person that sent them, i keep them because it reminds me of a very dark time in my life and how i overcame it. It reminds me of why and who I am today. If that can't be understood by a loved one then that person truly is not a loved one at all.
ReplyDeleteIf I had discovered letters that my significant other hid from me and would not tell me about, I would give her an ultimatum: it’s either me or the letters. I do not think a healthy relationship can have secrets. I could not stay in the relationship without going crazy. I would like to think that I would be able to resist the temptation to look at the letters when she is gone, but I do not think that is possible. Taking a quick peek at the letters when she is away may be the best course of action. With a quick peek I could determine who the letters are from and if my relationship is in any danger. If the letters had any romantic intent, whether past or present, I would end the relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was growing up in the 1970’s, my friends/boyfriends and I passed notes to each other in class, in the hallways between classes, and stuck notes in each other’s lockers. It was easy to write notes. The teacher saw us writing, and just assumed we were taking notes on his/her lecture! By the time I finished high school, I had literally hundreds of notes, cards and letters from friends and boyfriends. I got engaged my second year of college -- I was all of 19 years old. My fiancé (now ex-husband) was jealous of any other male, be he friend or ex-boyfriend. I distinctly remember, a few weeks before the wedding, taking my box of notes, cards, letters and photos to the garage, and slowly, reluctantly throwing them into the garbage can. I even had letters from a friend who was serving in Vietnam! The most difficult were the things from my first love, Larry Eugene Landreth, Jr. I threw most of the notes away, but held on secretly (and with much guilt and trepidation) to the most treasured items. Ironically, about three years into my marriage, I innocently discovered my husband had a stack of letters and photos from his first love. I was pretty upset, especially in lieu of my own "sacrificed" momentos. He refused to get rid of them, and was quite angry with me for "finding" them. It probably bothered me for awhile, but I know I got over it and thereafter felt justified for keeping what I'd kept from Larry. Over the years I'd forgotten all about my "secret stash." One day, while unpacking boxes after my move to New York, I discovered them again. Reading them 30 years after they were written, was a bittersweet treasure. I tried for a year after that to find Larry on Classmates.com, to no avail. One day, though, I found his younger sister. We exchanged numbers and ended up talking on the phone for hours. It was then I learned that Larry had tragically died in his early 30's from complications of alcoholism and drug abuse.
ReplyDeleteAt the age I’m at now, anyone I might consider a romance with has a past. As long as his past doesn't interfere with our present and future, he can keep whatever he wants for that occasional stroll down memory lane -- as long as he doesn't have a problem with me taking my own strolls as well.
Jennifer M.
ReplyDeleteI would probably freak out and tell him off, in the moment i wouldn't be able to understand that its really not that big of a deal we all try to hold on to memories of past friends/lovers... and probably make a rash decision and break up with him... and later regret it